I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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