Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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