Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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