what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Bring me that man meat
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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