We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize