That's intense
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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