so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
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Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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