You're a womanizer and a bitch.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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