PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize