Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize