So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize