first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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