after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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