I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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