it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
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The chlamydia really affected his face.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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