and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
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He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
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I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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