You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize