Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize