I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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