Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize