Will you blow on my dice?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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