Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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