just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize