So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I love you.
Bad choice
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