No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
did i just pee glitter
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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