If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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