That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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