He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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