If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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