What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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