If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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