i can't believe i had my finger in that
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
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So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
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On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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