Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize