I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize