I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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