Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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