sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize