Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize