Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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