All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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