i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize