My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
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just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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