Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
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Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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