I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize