I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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