seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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