i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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