How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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