did you get engaged???
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize