I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
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Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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